This is the greatest tweet in the history of tweets
when ur bra and undies match and ur just like Hell yeah, hell yeah
Fuckin’ right Fuckin’ right, all right Hell yeah Hell yeah, hell yeah Fuckin’ right Fuckin’ right, all right
standing next to sunflowers always makes me feel weak like “look at this fucking flower. this flower is taller than i am. this flower is winning and i’m losing”
Wow you are not ready to hear about trees.
boy, blowjobs sure are a mouthful
jeez, that pun was hard for me to swallow
thanks for your contribution
|—||Jane Goodall (via getmad-govegan)|
SO I ACTUALLY DID THIS A FEW MONTHS AGO AND I DIDNT EVEN THINK THEY LOOKED AT THIS SORT OF THING SO BY THE TIME THE DELIVERY MAN CAME I HAD FORGOTTEN THAT I WROTE THAT AND THE GUY WAS REALLY CUTE. WHEN I OPENED THE DOOR HE WAS SUPER FLUSTERED AND DROPPED HIS PEN, THE BAG HOLDING THE PIZZA AND THE RECEIPTS. THEN after i signed the receipt and he was getting ready to leAVEEEE HE GOES “So… umm… did you actually put that?” and i was like “put what?” and he goes “… to.. um… tell you.. um that you’re pretty” omg it hit me that this was why he was all nervous and i started cracking up omfg then he told me that i was pretty.
i did this once but when the guy came to the door I sent my friend Martin to get the pizza and I heard muffled laughter and then Martin came back into the room with the pizza and whispered “he told me I was pretty”
This is on my bucket list